The pain is undeniable. It comes in waves and shoots through my body. I can’t do anything but sit in agony. I can’t even bring myself to do the things I love most: Video Games, Movies, dancing – I can’t even sleep. The world is absolutely intolerable. It hurts to lie down. It hurts to stand up. It even hurts after I empty my bladder. I feel like I want to throw up, it hurts that bad. I shuffle to the sink, stooped over caressing myself in false hope, and wash my hands in hot water for ten minutes. I want to dive in, submerge myself in that heat, to make the pain stop. My brow furls and I can’t bring myself to smile at anything. I lean over the sink as the pain irks me. I want to fall to my knees and roll up into a ball. It’s like someone scraping a razor across my insides, ripping piece by piece. Sometimes it’s short and powerful and throws me into submission in an instant. Sometimes it’s long and intense and makes me cringe and cry for what feels like hours.
When I see someone I know I put on a happy face. “Oh, it’s nothing, I’ll live.”
The only thing I want to do is crawl into bed and die. No time to die. I shuffle into my bedroom and pull on my pants, my shoes, and a face that says “just leave me alone.”
Sometimes a moan escapes my lips or I curse God and all His foolishness.
It wasn’t her fault. It was that stupid snake.
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